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Dora & Boots: A true story!

Dora and Boots.
By: Anonymous (A closeted but very successful and loved Lebanese gay man)

It seemed like one of those regular days until she came into the teacher’s room, her face all red.

She said “bonjour”, but in her voice there was a deep agony, and a request for help.

Sanaa  is one of those people who radiate positive energy in her environment , we’ve been very good friends and colleagues, teaching together high school students  for the last  5 years, but I’ve never seen her like that before, even on the day when her father died, she had this philosophical explanation that impressed me at the time.

Me: So how are you?

Sanaa: I am ok

But then she would never make eye contact, and tries to keep herself busy, as if she wanted to be left alone, so I asked her again : “are you ok ? “

She never answered, but turned towards the coffee machine; So I stood and started walking toward that corner where she was hiding, she started crying, so I said : “what’s wrong, come on, tell me, what happened” …. And she said : “Tala …” and she couldn’t stop herself from crying.

Me :Tala, your daughter?  Is she alright, is she sick???!!!!

Sanaa:  I wish I could change her …

Tala is a cute 4 year old girl, she is always the center of her mom’s talks on lunch breaks, her embarrassing questions and her exceptional personality, leading us to  finish our  conversations with  a usual closure : “well this generation is different, they’re born  aware of everything …

Me: What do you want to change about her?

Sanaa : Among all of the costumes for Halloween , she wanted to be Boots !!

Me : Boots like shoes  ?

Sanaa: Noooo , don’t you know Boots , Boots and Dora , that doesn’t  ring a bell ???  .

Me : who is Dora?

Sanaa : Dora the clever girl in kids cartoon , and Boots is the male chimp, her friend… I wanted Tala to be wearing Dora on the school’s  Halloween  party, but then she insisted to be Boots and when I asked her why,  she said : “Boots is funny, he plays with Dora and loves her very much ” … do you know what does that mean ????

So I smiled after I started grasping the basis of my friend’s unexplained misery …

Me : Do you think that you daughter is identifying with a monkey instead of a human , is that what’s bothering  you ???

Sanaa : she wants to take care of Dora , O my God

So I thought , O my God, my good friend is a freakin homophobic , I wonder how would she reacts if she ever knew about me, her closeted 30 y old gay friend …

Me : Ok , and so what ???

Sanaa: It means that she will be sad, people will hate her, she will never have a family and she will die alone …. It is not only Dora and Boots, she likes to play with matchbox cars and she hates pink … she wants to paint her room blue … and in her role play at kindergarten, she is always the taxi driver, like her grandfather…

Me: Well, don’t you think that you’re jumping into fast conclusions??

Sanaa: No, I think that my daughter will grow to become … O my God I can’t even say it!!!

…. and she started crying again.

Me : Lesbian ???? Do you think that this is a problem?

Sanaa : I can’t  even imagine this possibility…

Me: Well, you’re  right about one thing, she will have a tough life, she will have to be stronger to survive, but her life would be harder if she won’t find you next  to her!  Can’t you see?   this is Tala, the love of your life , the one who makes you smile every morning …

Sanaa : I don’t want her to be hurt!

Me : she won’t , can anyone hurt your Tala ??

Sanaa :As long as I am alive, never

Me : So, why you’re so upset then ?

Sanaa : She will be purposeless, useless …

Me : All of that because of Boots !!!

Thinking to myself , I wish I can tell her about my situation, her successful colleague and supportive friend….

Me : well Boots is really  something, otherwise why would I be searching for him day and night …

Sanaa : what ???

Me :  Ummmm……. Yeah, I like Boots ….and for the record, I hate pink J .

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